Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors

whichtvdoctorshouldyouchoose Vitals 590x413 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo

On our website, you can rate and review your doctor so new patients can be better informed.

But what about the doctors who aren’t on our site — the ones who have killed patients in cold blood or been put on a leave of absence just as they were about to save someone’s life? Yes, I’m talking about the cold-hearted world of television doctors.

If we are ever going to have true reform, we need transparency in Hollywood’s imaginary health care system. With so much misinformation out there, how can you find the best TV doctor for you and your family? Below, we rated the top 7 television doctors in order of their Primetime Emmy awards.

1. Alan Alda in M*A*S*H
Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, 1980
Actor of the Year, 1974

alanalda Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo

Bedside Manner:5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – Acerbic wit hides his warm heart and PTSD.
Ease of Appointment:1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – Difficult to travel to Korea.
Accurate Diagnosis:1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – Mainly prescribes morphine.
Courteous Staff:3outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – Staff occasionally yells “incoming” and disappears.

2. William Daniels in St. Elsewhere
Outstanding Lead Actor, 1985, 1986

williamdaniel1 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo

Bedside Manner:2outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – Mustachioed.
Ease of Appointment:5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – I was brought in via talking car.
Accurate Diagnosis:1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – He killed Mrs. Hufnagle.
Courteous Staff:3outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – One Canadian guy keeps putting a rubber glove on his head, another one thinks he’s Malcolm X.

3. Mandy Patinkin in Chicago Hope
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series, 1995

mandypatinkin Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo

Bedside Manner:2outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo Mainly communicates in showtunes.
Ease of Appointment:1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo They call it Chicago Hope because you’d better hope they pick up the phone.
Accurate Diagnosis:1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo Insisted I killed his father, threatened me with death.
Courteous Staff:3outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo Rather overly dramatic.

4. George Clooney in ER
2 nominations, no wins (but who are you to judge him?)

georgeclooney1 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo

Bedside Manner:5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo — Gorgeous.
Ease of Appointment:5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo I’d wait a lifetime.
Accurate Diagnosis: 5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  I don’t remember a word he said.
Courteous Staff: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo – There were times when I had to see and speak to other people who were not George Clooney. Unacceptable!

 

5. Hugh Laurie in House
6 Nominations for Oustanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series, no wins

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 Bedside Manner: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  Extremely rude.
Ease of Appointment: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  Patients usually unconscious upon arrival.
Accurate Diagnosis: 5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  Always right after nearly killing you.
Courteous Staff: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo The rest of the staff seems nice, but it’s like this guy has a drug problem or something.
6. Zach Braff in Scrubs
Nominated: Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series, 2005, no Wins

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 Bedside Manner: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo — Communicates mostly in voiceovers.
Ease of Appointment:5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  Unfortunately easy.
Accurate Diagnosis: 5outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo Almost never.
Courteous Staff: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo Dr. Kelso pushed my wheelchair down the stairs.

 

7. Neil Patrick Harris in Doogie Howser
Nominations: none; Wins: Also none

doogiehowser Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo

Bedside Manner: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  Seemed a bit young.
Ease of Appointment: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  Like really young.
Accurate Diagnosis: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  No seriously, is he a child?
Courteous Staff: 1outof4 Emmys 2014: Top 7 Best Television Doctors  Photo  I’m weirded out, I think I’ll go to another doctor.

Did we miss a doctor who (pun not intended) should be here? Let us know.

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