Did your sex life change after you became a mother? Many moms notice a change in their sex life while they are pregnant. There is just something about gaining weight and being perpetually exhausted that causes a woman not to feel her sexiest. Surprising, right?
When I was pregnant, I had horrible morning sickness for my first trimester. The second trimester, I felt pretty good and things resumed as usual, actually a little better than usual what with all those hormonally induced sex dreams. Then the third trimester hit and I looked like I’d swallowed a beach ball. I couldn’t breathe, see my toes or sleep. And I was always exhausted. All that added up to this mother-to-be feeling oh so NOT sexy.
I thought my sex life after baby would be better. Boy, was I naïve.
After you have a baby, every aspect of your life goes on hold, whether you intended it to or not. It’s difficult to get your sexy on when you have to get up every three hours to breastfeed. Having your breasts fondled is the last tempting proposition after having them suckled raw for two months.
Not to mention your immediate post baby body does not look like it did before you got pregnant. Sure you can lose the weight, but it’s like stretching a balloon to capacity and then deflating it. It’s shaped differently after giving birth. It can still be beautiful, but it will always be different. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone.
Oh and don’t get me started on your vagina. After the initial six-week waiting period, I couldn’t help but wonder if everything looked and felt the same down there.
Eight years in, and I still don’t think I’ve been able to sleep through the night. My body feels foreign to me. Things move and bounce and jiggle.
I’m not saying that you’re love life can’t resume to normal after you have a baby. It can, but two things have to happen. One, you have to learn to love the new skin you are in and see yourself as sexy. Two, you need to get a lock for your bedroom door.
Sex is vital to intimacy. It is the closest two people can be without being one. It releases endorphins and makes you feel relaxed, rested and yes, believe it or not, beautiful. Your post baby body image may make it hard to get back on the horse (so to speak) but I promise, you are as beautiful and sexy as you ever were – probably even more.
Embrace your beautiful, womanly body and enjoy the man who loves you. Believe me, after having kids, you need the release more than ever.
How did your post baby body image change your sex life?